| | The past few days I've been thinking way more than usual. About myself, life, society, greed, betrayal, strength and everything in between. What are the pros of being kind to people? What are the cons of being like the rest of society? Is there anyone out there who's left who truly cares about others? I mean, there are a few but in ratio to the greedy fucks, how badly do the pessimistic outweigh the optimistic? So many questions, where are the answers?
Since I was a kid I've always been the type of person who's been pushed around, walked on, spit on, yadda yadda. I've been what some might call abused (mentally, and emotionally) because of how easily I forgive people, hand out second chances, and just how overly optimistic I am when it comes to others. Throughout the years it's scarred me in ways, and shaped me in others. There was a point where I put up walls, for a few years, and I played the whole tough chick role for awhile pretending to be this bad ass I wasn't. To an extent it worked, but not really. I had plenty of so-called-friends but at the same time? These so called friends were really just a bunch of fakes, and they did nothing but back stab the shit out of people, people who eventually included myself. I wondered why while I had all of these fakes in my life, I was such an unhappy person. After seeing their true colors, I went back to being the real me. The me that wasn't so 'bad ass', but instead was 100% real. It was then that I found myself happier. I believe that those you associate yourself with can have an impact on your life. Of course you are the one to make that decision on how big of an impact you're going to let them have. Could be big, could be small. But when you spend large chunks of your life with people who aren't true to themselves, and aren't true to you, it's hard to not be effected by it.
Someday, I want to make an impact on people. I've still no clue how I will do this, or when, but before my life is over I want to change lives for the better. Promoting optimism, and creating smiles. That is all I know for now. I am in no hurry to do such a thing, I know when it's time to do my part I'll know all I need. For now, I'm just being me, and staying true to myself.
I strive to be positive in most situations. Sure, it isn't always the easiest route but what good does it do to whine and bitch about something? None. Rather than draw negative attention to oneself, it's better to focus on positive things. There is always positivity to focus on, too. As long as you set your mind to thinking how it should be, there is no reason to be negative. It drives me nuts when people constantly want attention. When they don't care about anyone or anything but themselves. It's sad, really. I wish I could help them. Oh, and people who have the ability to hurt others and go on as if nothing happened, and to think selfishly when making decisions, as well as when living life in general. I do not see how these kinds of people can be happy. I guess I cannot relate to them. I've tried in the past, and I've failed with much frustration. It boggles my mind how some humans can be so cold, shallow and greedy. I have never been able to hurt anyone without feeling great amounts of regret, and pain myself. I wound up instantly making amends. I find it hard to communicate with those whom are negative thinkers. Sadly, I'm starting to believe that most of this world is made up of negative thinkers. That, or I'm just not around the positive ones. If people had a better mind frame on how life was, and didn't act like the tiniest things were the end of the world, it would be a much better place, and they would enjoy things much more. We'd probably have much less Prozac prescriptions being handed out, we'd have less drug addicts and alcoholics.
I see no purpose in dwelling on flaws. It bothers me a lot to see people pick others apart. Who are we to judge one another? I understand everyone has insecurities when it comes to themselves -- hell, I have plenty... but judging others? There is no need. Ever. The things in which I see others talk shit about, tease people on, and criticize one another about are usually things that classify as beyond ridiculous. This world is disgusting, and it's only continuing to get worse.
Nobody these days wants anything to do with anything if it doesn't benefit themselves. There isn't a such thing as 'kindness' anymore. When acts of kindness are committed, one is lead to believe that a favor is owed in return. I wish I lived in the times that Jesus lived, really. Not saying I want to nail myself to a cross because I love people, but just the appreciation people had for him in doing what he did, and the way people acted, the world wasn't in the state of chaos it is today.
So, optimism. Who's got it? |
| | Posted 9/11/2007 7:13 PM - 5 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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